


Amendar

by Brekkable



Category: Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: BAMF Darcy Lewis, BAMF Phil Coulson, BAMF Tony Stark, Gen, HIV/AIDS, Hopefully a Not-Mary-Sue original character, the Avengers are loveable idiots
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-19
Updated: 2015-04-13
Packaged: 2018-02-26 06:06:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2640887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brekkable/pseuds/Brekkable
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Darcy Lewis, PoliSci Major, life of the party, unquestionably coolest girl on campus, has HIV.</p><p>That little discovery changes Darcy's life in so many unexpected ways. As the story of Darcy (and her trusty taser) unfolds, new friends are made, challenges are met and defeated, and Darcy's habit of meddling reaps new consequences...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Testing, Testing, One, Two, Three

**Author's Note:**

> 1,000 words and counting.
> 
> I weep for my NaNoWriMo bar graph...

Darcy's first year of college was probably, in retrospect, pretty average: she was, unashamedly, a party girl, although she never allowed her studies to fall _too_ far behind in importance. Her roommate, an introvert wallflower of a Southern girl, suffered through walking in on numerous one-night-stands with frat boys and the occasional bartender (what could she say? Darcy appreciated the ability to mix a good drink!). It was not until the day she launched one of her usual Ninja-hugs on the other young woman that the friendship really began.

"There's something wrong with you." The bald statement from her roommate barely fazed Darcy, who simply snuggled in closer. Her roommate, Tiz (a childhood nickname for Diane; she'd been told by the other woman to simply not ask), sighed the sigh of a wearied mother-figure, and poked Darcy in the side. "Seriously, there's something wrong with you. Like, physically. You need to make an appointment at the clinic to get tested for diseases, or whatever." 

Which, yeah, was a bit of a weird thing to say, but even weirder to hear. Darcy pulled back slightly, but out of sheer bloody-mindedness refused to completely release her roommate. "Why?" She was mostly curious, but willing to accept the possibility of a reasonable answer.

She got a shrug in answer. "I just have a feeling," Tiz said, handily avoiding her curious gaze by hugging her close. "Please get tested?" the young woman muttered into Darcy's shoulder. "I really think there was something about one of those guys you brought here last week that was...kinda skanky." 

"Dude, I do _not_ get STD's," Darcy emphasized, her brows drawn into a frown as she pulled away from her roommate. "What the hell, Tiz? Why are you saying this?"

"I just have a feeling," the other woman repeated, her hands twisting the tails of her shirt. "Please, Darcy. You're...a kinda great roommate. And you're a good student. You shouldn't have to suffer from some jerk's mistakes. Please, just get tested." She paused, as though about to say something more, before turning to grab her book bag and very obviously fleeing the room. Darcy stared after her, eyes wide and mind uncharacteristically blank.

"What. The hell," she asked the empty room. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

She went and got tested, of course. It certainly wouldn't hurt; Darcy was pragmatic about her sexual habits if about nothing else. A week and a half later, and the results came back. Negative. She waved the paper in her roommate's face. Tiz gave a little grimace, and turned back to her 50-pound textbook. Darcy pouted at the lack of reaction, and bounced over to her bed to celebrate with loud, head-banging music. It had nothing to do with annoying her roommate. Nuh-uh.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

A month later, and Darcy was cursing her body's immune system as she massaged swollen glands below her jaw. The flu seriously _sucked toads_.

It had been a tough few weeks. Her roommate was avoiding her like the plague, she had contracted some recurring cold or flu, and to top it all off, there was a persistent dry, flaky, irritated patch of skin on her left shoulder that was driving her to distraction with itching. Darcy blamed her latest boytoy's bodywash.

The door to her dorm room opened and shut quietly; Darcy ignored it. Tiz was barely speaking to her since the incident with the STD test; she doubted there would be anything new that afternoon. To her surprise, a gentle movement of the bed indicated her roommate's presence.

"I have something for you," Tiz's voice was firm, stubborn, focused. Almost like she hadn't been completely ignoring Darcy for the last month. Darcy turned her head up to look at the other woman, forcing a disinterested expression. A pamphlet was put onto the bed just in her line of sight: _**Could I Have HIV?**_

"Not this again," Darcy groaned, dropping her head to her bed. "Tiz, seriously-"

"Just read it, Darcy," her roommate said quietly. "Please." The warm presence of the other woman disappeared, and Darcy looked up to watch the stiff movements of a very unhappy person. Her gaze dropped to the pamphlet and her brows drew together. With a sigh, she reached out and pulled the folded paper close. What could it hurt?

Five minutes later, and Darcy was still sitting frozen on her bed, staring down in horror at the list of symptoms. "It's just a flu," she whispered to herself.

"And the rash on your arm?" Tiz asked from her own bed. "And the headaches, and you getting even skinnier?"

"It's a flu," Darcy repeated stubbornly. 

"I already made you another appointment at the clinic," her roommate replied with equal stubbornness. "It takes just a few minutes for a cheek swab and the initial results are given right then."

"It's a flu." But the certainty was gone. Tiz rose from her bed and sat next to Darcy. A warm hand settled on top of her head and rubbed gently.

"Whatever it is, it'll be OK," she said lowly, stroking Darcy's curls. Darcy permitted the familiarity, numb with the idea that...no, it simply wasn't possible.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Not only was it possible, but it was certain. Darcy Lewis, PoliSci Major, life of the party, unquestionably coolest girl on campus, had HIV. Darcy felt empty, unable to even muster shock at the reality of the situation. The nurse at the clinic had taken a blood sample so they could verify the results of the test; those results wouldn't be available for at least a week, but Darcy had been told that testing the cheek swab was pretty conclusive. When the official results came back, the nurse told her, she would be presented with all her options.

When she got back to her room, she found Tiz waiting, face knowingly bleak.


	2. We're All Nerds, Here...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy introduces the idea of adding another hero to the Avengers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time skip...that's gonna happen a lot, folks.

Darcy sat at the round conference table, jiggling her knee nervously and chewing on a fingernail. Across from her sat the always-adorably-rumpled Bruce Banner, mad scientist and, as she had silently dubbed him, 'LGM'; she had succeeded in keeping that nickname to herself, so far. He was the only other person in the conference room, as everyone else was either running late or deliberately delaying their entrance. 

"So..." Bruce stretched the word out, fingers flexing around his mug of tea. Darcy's gaze darted up, a distinct deer-in-the-headlights expression on her face. Bruce chuckled. "Breathe, Darcy. I'm not going to interrogate you." Darcy's eyes narrowed slightly; she was more than familiar with the calculating glint of a scientist trying to coax out tricky results. He must have recognized her wariness, as the smirk gentled into something slightly more knowing. "Tony is going to come stomping through that door in just a minute, demanding why 'baby girl' demanded his presence at a dreaded roundtable meeting." 

"And you want the scoop before everyone else?" Darcy didn't bother covering her amusement. Bruce merely toasted her with his mug. "Well..." she drawled purposefully, and they shared a companionable chuckle. "I'll give you a hint," she leaned forward conspiratorially, "It involves getting some female company for your little semi-exclusive boy band." 

Bruce's eyebrows flew upward, and he leaned back as though to get some distance from the idea. Before he had a chance to react further, the door flew open and the overbearing presence of first Thor, and then Tony immediately after, filling in any space that Bruce's questions might have made an attempt for. 

"Why the hell am I here?! What possible reason could you have for calling me to this little clubhouse meeting?! God help me, if this isn't an 'Avengers Assemble' situation-" Tony's semi-serious rant filled in the background as Thor whisked Darcy up into a bear hug as though he hadn't seen in her ages, rather than the eight hours since breakfast. 

"My lady Darcy!" the Thunder god boomed with laughter, releasing her only after she placed a strong smooch on his furry cheek. 

"Thor, _put me the hell down_!" The yell in his ear may have hurried his motions some, also. Darcy huffed as she smoothed her blouse down; she moved to sit back down before realizing that, at some point, Clint had materialized...in her chair. "Damn it, Sulu! Are you trying to give me a heart attack?!" She pointed an accusing finger. "Don't make me tell my doctor on you; she's a helluva scary woman." 

"If he's Sulu, who am I?" Tony demanded from the side. Darcy cocked an eyebrow, and the scientist grinned at the 'duh' face she was wearing. "Saweet!" He leered at her. "You're Uhura, right?" 

"Hell to the no, Kirk!" Darcy laughed at him. "That's Nat. I'm Janice Rand!" His face went slack with surprise, then the leer returned even stronger. "And no, I am not, and never will be jonesing for you, Captain Kirk." She allowed a leer of her own to appear. "After all, I'd never get between you and your Enterprise-ing mistress; I'm not stupid enough to compete with a redhead." Tony and Clint both dissolved into the giggles of massive nerds; even Bruce was restraining a grin. 

"I know not of what you speak," Thor observed with a small frown, "But the lady Pepper is formidable, indeed." He paused. "And _most_ enterprising." 

"Yeah, I have no idea what they're blathering about, either, buddy." Steve sat down in one of the chairs, his eyes glinting with mild amusement. 

"Who are the rest of us in this little comparison?" Bruce asked mildly, folding his hands demurely on the table. 

"Spock," Darcy pointed at him. "And, no, it's not just because of the green." There were varying snorts from around the table. "Kirk," she pointed at Tony. There were no nay-sayers. "Bones," she gestured to Steve. Tony cocked his head consideringly while Bruce made a curious noise. "Old-fashioned, crotchety type, who can handle anyone's bullshit, " Darcy offered with a grin, shrugging. Steve's expression flipped back and forth between confused, offended, and slightly flattered. 

"Scotty," Darcy continued, pointing at Thor. At everyone's confused expressions, she rolled her eyes. "Sandwiches, pop tarts. Spanner, hammer. Weird way of speaking. Causes mass destruction on accident. Really, really smart, but you can't tell 'cause he acts like a barely house-broken puppy. And, duh, tribbles!" Bruce failed to successfully cover his laugh; Tony didn't even try. Clint merely grinned faintly and patted the confused alien on his extremely broad bicep. 

"Sulu," Darcy continued, pointing at Clint. "Uhura," she pointed at the suddenly-there Natasha Romanov. "Damn your super-assassin, ninja-spy abilities," the younger woman grumbled, not for the first time. "Coulson is Checkov, 'cause he's best bronies with Clint, and he's got mad skillz." She paused to consider. "And because he would totally make Kahn do the potty dance." Clint lost it at that, just leaning his head on the table and snickering helplessly; Tony wasn't much better. 

"Your estimation of my 'mad skillz' is flattering, Ms. Lewis," Coulson's dry voice froze her in her seat. The S.H.I.E.L.D. agent strode to the seat nearest the back of the room. "However, I believe you called this meeting for some reason _other_ than to excite each other into a Trekkie geekon?" The room was silent for a moment. 

"The fact that you could ask that question with a completely straight face makes me respect you _so much more_ ," Tony remarked casually, grinning widely. 

"I don't want to know, do I?" Steve murmured to Bruce, who merely smiled politely, his eyes dancing with amusement. The team leader sighed in resignation. "Darcy, could we please just get this meeting over and done with?" 

The group turned as one to look at the young woman in question. Darcy smiled nervously, and twitched. 

"So..." she dragged the word out. Bruce coughed politely in amusement; Darcy shot him a belligerent look. "So," she tried again, "I wanted to approach you guys with the idea of adding a member to the Avengers. A female member." She stopped, giving a nervous giggle. "And, that sounded way better in my head." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry, guys.
> 
> And, "geekon"...just replace 'geek' with 'hard'. You're welcome.


	3. Getting to Know You, Getting to Know All About You Pt. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was almost scary how easily someone could be added to such an insular, ego-driven group as the Avengers.

Tiz fit right in with the Avengers, just like Darcy knew she would.

*          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *

Tony was, as usual, completely willing to voice his personal questions: "Why the hell would anyone want to be a daycare teacher?" The question was disparaging, but genuine (a description which was, possibly, very applicable to the speaker himself).

Tiz shrugged, "It's safer than a job where I'm constantly working with adults. Little kids mention knowing someone with superpowers, and they're chuckled at. That's so cute, such imaginations they have, right? Adults see me do something outside of the norm? I'd be labeled a mutant and lose my job pretty quickly." She shrugged again. "Besides, I'm good at my job, and someone has to do it." She grinned ruefully. "It has its perks. Well, some. A few. Maybe."

"Teaching the young ones how to make their way through life's journeys is a reward unto itself, lady Diane!" Thor boomed enthusiastically. Tiz cringed slightly, still getting used to the loud exuberance of the Asgardian. Thor did _everything_ enthusiastically. It was slightly endearing to the rest of the Avengers, and only occasionally annoying.

"Call me Tiz," she repeated. Thor merely grinned in response. Tiz sighed; she could tell that would be a continued point of contention.

*          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *

Natasha's eyes narrowed as she read off the card: "Where would you go on your dream vacation?"

"Lame. Pick a different card."

"No, I want to hear the answers, Darcy! This is supposed to be a getting-to-know-you game." Jane pursed her lips. "I think dream vacations can reveal a lot about a woman."

"Fine. Mine is definitely a remote island in the Pacific with Brad Pitt and an unlimited supply of rum and _Lost_."

Tiz cackled; there was truly no other word for the sound she made. "Liar! You hate Brad Pitt!" Darcy shoved the other woman off the couch, and the two fell to the floor in a tangle of limbs. Natasha's eyebrow went up slightly at the nasty Creole phrases that escaped the newcomer to their group.

Darcy spat out a mouthful of her friend's hair. "It's George Clooney, OK?"

"Truth," Tiz verified from underneath the other woman.

"Hmm." The Black Widow's eyes narrowed. "I shall go last. Jane?"

"The Mauna Kea Observatory, with Thor, and chocolate, and artisan beer on tap." The astrophysicist paused to contemplate. "And an Olympic-sized swimming pool full of lime Jell-O." Tiz and Darcy snorted their amusement, while Natasha simply smirked knowingly.

"Tiz?" Darcy poked the woman expectantly.

"A cabin on the side of a wooded mountain with a hot tub, huge library, professionally stocked kitchen, unlimited Argentinean blackberry sangria, and Yul Brynner." Tiz nodded firmly, evidently confident in her own choice.

"Nice. Very nice," Natasha nodded in return. The three women looked at her expectantly. "A small apartment in Venice located above a busy coffee bar, a masseur every morning, fresh bruschetta from a shop down the street delivered by a little Italian girl, and several crates of Amarone della Valpolicella." Her lips twitched. "And young Anthony Hopkins."

*          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *

Darcy was only occasionally helpful when it came to getting to know the Avengers. Truthfully, Tiz was much more comfortable to be left with the guys and build a rapport on her own. So when Captain America and Hawkeye found her in the communal kitchen making a giant pot of nacho cheese sauce and huge batches of homemade corn chips, Tiz was actually pleased for the opportunity.

"What _is_ that?" The Captain peered down at the pot of cheese sauce. Tiz struggled to contain her smile.

"You've never had nachos and cheese?" Hawkeye asked in disbelief, hopping up onto an unoccupied counter space. The displaced WWII soldier made a discomfited face.

"It's like cheese fondue, with chips," Tiz explained, giving the pot another stir. The look on Captain American's face caused her to do a double take. "Um, what's wrong?"

"Fondue, huh." Rogers scratched his scalp, a light blush on his cheeks.

Tiz glanced toward Hawkeye, who returned the clueless expression. "It's similar to fondue, yeah...it has a spicier flavor and a slightly different texture. Cheese fondue is usually just melted cheese; nacho cheese dip is more of a sauce flavored heavily with cheese and salsa." She eyeballed him. "You have the look of someone who's experiencing an embarrassing memory...did I trigger something, there?" Though posed as a question, it wasn't really in doubt.

"Fondue was, ah, a euphemism, sort of..." The half-answer had both Tiz and Hawkeye regarding him with interest.

"A euphemism." Tiz's mouth twitched. "For..." His rising flush more than filled in the blank.

Hawkeye smirked at her, and asked in a deliberately husky voice, "If plain cheese fondue is so scandalous, I wonder what nacho cheese sauce is a euphemism for?" She smirked back, not at all flustered, despite the choked sounds coming from Captain America.

"Probably something along the lines of, 'the cook will refuse to give up the goods if she doesn't feel sufficiently respected'," she retorted. "And 'the goods', in this case, refer only to the foodstuffs she has produced." More choked sounds.

"It is entirely possible that you are my second favorite person in this tower right now," Hawkeye said blandly, his eyes twinkling. Tiz rolled her eyes.

"That still won't get your hands on my goodies." They all stopped to consider that sentence. "Hmm. I really should clean out that gutter inside my head; it's congested with all sorts of debris." Hawkeye's snicker turned into a guffaw, and Captain America - Steve - shook his head, smiling faintly.

*End of third one-shot*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bruce/Hulk will be next chapter.


	4. Getting to Know You, Getting to Know All About You Pt. 2

 

The first time Tiz met the Hulk was also the first time she went out in the field for an Avengers mission; well, 'in the field' as much as sitting in a S.H.I.E.L.D. observational van, watching the action on-screen from two blocks away, allowed. Tiz was mainly there for a training run: she was definitely not to engage the enemy (which, today, was giant flying squid robots; she had been told that such ridiculousness was not unusual for them), but to simply practice her ability to mentally and visually follow the action and verbally identify to Agent Coulson where she might have been required for 'medical assistance'. It was, essentially, a practical exam. Regardless of how simple such a thing might have been intended to sound, Tiz was both exhilarated and completely terrified.

So it was that, when the Hulk got intensely excited with smashing the squid robots against various hard surfaces (the street, nearby vehicles, a hot dog stand, and Thor's head at one particularly memorable point) and hopped onto the side of a building, then came smashing down just down Riviera Drive, well within direct line of sight of the S.H.I.E.L.D. van. This was the first time Tiz had seen Hulk in the flesh, and it was quite the sight.

"That...is almost nauseating," Tiz grimaced, regarding the huge figure through the tinted windshield. Coulson sent her a sharp glance of calculated disapproval. "Not the Hulk, himself," she assured the agent. "I have no problem with the Hulk except for the fact that I can see his mutated cellular structure, and it's constantly in a state of flux. Hence, almost nauseating to see." She paused to squint at the green giant. "I'll bet that's a lot of his invulnerability and strength, actually." Tiz sent her own sharp glance at the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents squashed together in the van. "And I will not be saying anything else until I talk to Bruce." None of the agents said anything, but Tiz saw something like approval flash through Coulson's eyes.

Outside, Hulk took a few steps down the street, eyes fastened just beyond the van. " _Coulson, you've got two dozen squid incoming from 6th and Shemeron,_ " Iron Man's voice came insistently over the comm. " _By the way, is Hulk somewhere over there? He's missing all the fun!_ " There was the sound of an explosion, loud over the comm unit, and slightly muffled through the side of the van. Tiz grimaced out of sheer adrenaline, bouncing slightly in her seat despite all her wishes to appear calm, to _be_ calm.

Coulson gestured, and he and the two other agents very efficiently climbed out of the van with guns in hand. Tiz watched wide-eyed until the door slid closed, then turned quickly to the live video of what was taking place. "Giant flying squid robots...this is my life now? I...I am _not_ going to freak out." She heard the strange hum of flying objects; the metal sides of the van vibrated with it. "Coulson," she thumbed her comm on, "If I get killed by a giant, flying squid robot, I will haunt you. There will be moaning. And whining. And I may poke my head through your shower wall while you're showering."

"I'll take that under advisement, Ms. Hooper," the agent returned amiably through the comm in her ear. "I must inform you that we have a shaman under contract with S.H.I.E.L.D. Your time as a ghost will be mercifully cut short and your spirit will be sent on." Tiz smothered a jittery, yet fond laugh. How very _Coulson_.

The ground shook as the Hulk suddenly started bounding toward the van, smashing abandoned vehicles out of his way as he drew closer and closer to the van. Tiz's mouth went immediately dry as a bone, and she froze in the seat. _I am not getting squished to death in a spy van!_ was the only conscious thought before she was suddenly climbing furiously to get out of the van and onto the street.

As soon as she was out on the street, her stomach jumped into her throat as the thin-yet-somehow-significant barrier of the vehicle's shell was no longer there, and the colossal presence of the Hulk was made very, very real, and very, _very_ present.

Later, years later, Tiz would admit that she wet her pants just a little.

            *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *

"I'm fine!" Tiz batted away a huge green hand in embarrassment; it was like shoving a boulder, but the Big Guy seemed willing to allow the defensive gesture with some bemusement. "I am not cuddling you, Hulk. Go...smash some squid, or something." She tried to ignore the sad expression on the large green face. "Do not try and give me the puppy eyes, sir. I worked with toddlers for several years, I'm immune to that expression." The huge face only went sadder. "No! You were being mean to the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents, and you made a mess on the street. I am not cuddling you after you've been naughty." She shoved harder, moving herself more than the giant green man, but it achieved the purpose of putting some space between them.

Tiz pointed firmly toward the direction of the battle, jaw set. "Go help get rid of the flying squid. Right now! And then you can clean up the mess you made! You know better than to break other peoples' things, Hulk! Go on! Go!" The hulking figure slunk off quickly toward the sound of destruction, sending a definite pout back at the young woman. She stood there for a short moment, hands on hips, before collapsing to her hands and knees, trying to take deep breaths.

"I think I'm gonna puke," she moaned, forgetting about the intercom.

"Please don't. The sound of gagging will distract people from doing their jobs." Coulson's voice was dry, but there was a definite amused cast to his face.

" _Distracted? Hell, I think that was the most hilarious thing I've ever heard on the 'com_ ," came Hawkeye's voice, slightly breathless.

" _I recant every bad thing I ever said about daycare teachers_ ," Stark chimed in laughingly. "Hooper, you just jumped several pay grades."

"Screw you all," the young woman muttered. "I can't believe I just treated the Hulk like a moody three-year-old." She frowned, turning her gaze toward Agent Coulson. "I can't believe no one ever told me that the Hulk was at the mental and emotional level of a three-year-old. Isn't that kind of important information for his teammates to know?"

"I believe it wasn't put in quite those terms, Ms. Hooper," Coulson spoke matter-of-factly. "As it is, you deigned not to look at our basic files on the Avengers, and would not have seen the psychological profile of the Hulk, anyway."

Tiz gave a mental roll of her eyes, still distracted by her thundering heart. "I can see everything about their biological makeup just by _looking at them_ ," she muttered scathingly. "I don't like psychological profiling. I would much rather form my own opinions, thanks." She took several deep breaths before standing up on wobbly legs; gratifyingly, none of the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents moved to help her.

"And what is your opinion of the Hulk, Ms. Hooper?" Coulson asked mildly, seeming almost disinterested.

Tiz cast him a narrow look. "Will my opinion be officially recorded for those _top-secret_ files, Agent Coulson?" His lips quirked slightly upward, and the young woman got the definite impression that she was being both humored and applauded for her cheekiness.

"Any information of value is, of course, greatly appreciated by myself and S.H.I.E.L.D."

"Mm-hmm." Tiz gave him a skeptical eyebrow raise, but doubted that her opinion on the Hulk would do more than give more evidence of her mutation's range of effect. "My _opinion_ of the Hulk is that he is surprisingly sane given the volatile fluctuations of his biological rhythms."

Coulson seemed to understand her point, and nodded. "It has been noted by others, Doctor Banner included, that the transformation between physical states is exceedingly stressful."

She laughed. "Coulson, I doubt even Bruce realizes that the transformation never stops. The Hulk is in a constant state of biological and transformational flux: when I just saw him, his body was going back and forth between pretty much human and...something fairly different...every other second. I'm not even talking about the gamma radiation still present in his cellular structure. I'm talking more biological, more tangible than radiation poison: Hormone changes, muscular changes, bone density changes, organ changes, brain chemistry changes..." She saw the Agent's eyebrows rise. "The Hulk is basically going through a really extreme phase of puberty every single second of his life." A flicker of discomfort crossed the faces of all three S.H.I.E.L.D. agents. "Yeah. Exactly. And again, I think I had better not be disclosing anything else until I talk to Bruce." Coulson inclined his head slightly, but Tiz could see that analytical mind filing everything away for later dissection and investigation.

"Sir, the battle is over," one of the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents spoke up, poking his head out of the reconnaissance van. Coulson nodded, but did not move for a long moment.

"I would consider this mission a success, Ms. Hooper," he complimented her smoothly. "It would seem that you will fit in quite well with the Avengers." And with that over-dramatic exit speech, he moved purposefully into the interior of the van.

"Bloody spies," Tiz muttered, semi-fondly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, lord, I actually added in bits about Tiz's mutation! Finally! Next chapter will go back to Tiz and Darcy and Darcy's health issues...


	5. An Apple a Day...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A flashback to the first time Coulson and Tiz interacted. Even if it was through just a (very) upset phone call.
> 
> The reason for the chapter title should be pretty obvious by the time you're done reading...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for some language

            Darcy flew down to see her 'doctor' every three months, like clockwork. She told Jane that the doctor was an old family friend who been tending to her health for so long that she simply refused to see any other. It was, to an extent, the truth. Jane only rarely thought to wonder on the three-month schedule; Darcy's health was almost always good, with the exception of the occasional cold or flu. If the scientist had devoted some of her genius to the topic, it was quite likely that she would have easily followed the pattern of those lapses in Darcy's immune system, with the subsequent trip down south, to the logical conclusion. As it was, Darcy's tendency towards a mild flu was not particularly engaging for the scientist's driven mind. Thor's arrival and the subsequent week and a half of utter chaos was more than enough for her great brain to keep busy with.

            Thus, no one noticed when Darcy's scheduled flight for Florida was missed. Well, Darcy noticed, but there was a _Norse god_ and...well, she would fly down the next week.

            It would have happened, but then the whole Loki-and-the-Destroyer happened, and then Thor left through the tornado-to-Oz and Jane was devastated at losing the love of her life, and then they were all detained in the tiny New Mexico town of Puente Antiguo (and how crazy was it that the town just outside the opening for a portal from an ages-old alien civilization was named 'Ancient Bridge'?!!) for over a week by S.H.I.E.L.D.

            Darcy's credit card account was _mysteriously_ locked (fuck Coulson, anyway) so that she couldn't purchase a plane ticket (she had contemplated stealing Eric's credit card, but was fairly certain it would be just as inaccessible as her own), and she was quickly feeling the bone-deep weariness beginning to take its toll. The flu symptoms had become worse, and Darcy was spending more and more time in her bed, sniffing miserably and half-heartedly contemplating the murder of a certain suit-wearing bastard. Her cell phone was gone, spirited away by some S.H.I.E.L.D. troll, and Darcy hoped fervently that the agents were appropriately scarred by the bad porn she had on it. It probably had a buttload of concerned texts and calls from her 'doctor', as well...She sniffed miserably, only a little comforted at the thought of the other's affection and worry.

            "Ms. Lewis," the level tones of Agent Coulson sounded through her door. Darcy narrowed her eyes, but decided to ignore the man. See how _he_ liked it, after taking away all her contact with the outside world. "Ms. Lewis, I have a phone call for you." Darcy's head whipped up, bringing a brief moment of blurred vision. _What?_

            She had pulled the door open and grabbed _her own_ cell phone from the agent's hand before either of them even had time to form another full thought. "Tiz?" There was no doubt who it would be.

            Agent Coulson watched with a blank face as the young woman had a very short, very uninformative conversation consisting of, "Yes. Uh-huh. Not terrible. Just a little. Nope. OK. Thanks, Tiz. 4:30? OK. I'll see you tonight. No, I'll be fine. OK, love you, too." The young woman turned the cell off with obvious reluctance before turning to glare at the S.H.I.E.L.D. agent. "Can I keep my phone, now, or do your spooks need to dig their grubby fingers into it some more?"

            Coulson raised an eyebrow slightly, but let the belligerence pass without comment. "We finished our work on it, so you may keep it." He fell silent, simply regarding her. She returned the stare with a glare of her own, before giving in and providing the information he wanted.

            "I am driving to Phoenix International Airport in one hour, and catching the 4:30 flight to Orlando," she informed him firmly, eyes narrowed, the affect slightly impeded by the small spots of flush on each cheek and the red nose. "I do not care if you aren't done digging up my past, or whatever the hell it is that you've been doing for the past week, but I am leaving and there is nothing you can do to stop me." She frowned, her jaw clenched. "Well, there's probly a lot you could do to stop me, but, just..." she paused, took a deep breath, and continued in a wobbly voice, "Please, don't stop me."

            Coulson regarded the young woman with a small furrow between his eyebrows. "I believe we have completed what needed to be done. I will have some paperwork brought here; please fill out and sign all the forms before you leave. Leave them on the desk and someone will collect them."

            Darcy's spine immediately straightened. "I don't hear a 'please' in there at all, G-man." She tilted her chin up stubbornly.

            Coulson looked at her for a long moment, then allowed a small twitch of his lips. "I would be very appreciative if you filled out those forms, Ms. Lewis." He cocked an eyebrow in expectation.

            "Better," Darcy nodded, flapping a hand at him in a manner quite reminiscent of a certain billionaire-genius-philanthropist-playboy with whom he was acquainted. "You can go, now. I have to pack." Her gaze was already wandering around the room. "Flip-flops. Gotta find those." She looked up to tell the agent to leave, but paused on seeing that he was already gone. "Damn spies."

            Outside her room, Coulson stood in contemplation. He had already had Ms. Diane Hooper investigated: she was a completely ordinary woman, with only a few traffic violations, and there was absolutely nothing to ring any alarm bells. Yet, he had the feeling that there was something missing, and that Darcy Lewis knew exactly what it was. Either way, it had nothing to do with what had happened in Puente Antiguo and the surrounding desert. He put it out of his mind, and went to get the pertinent paperwork, lips twitching at the thought of Ms. Lewis' likely to be quite graphic response to the coming ten-inch-tall pile of forms and binding agreements.


	6. Things I'm Learning About You...Or Not

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The moment when Tiz really started to feel at home with the Avengers.

            It was probably five months in before Tiz truly felt comfortable in the Tower. Years later, she could pinpoint with ease the moment she realized that the ridiculously huge place felt like _home_ , and the crazy people with whom she surrounded herself felt like _family_. The moment occurred when Tony Stark was being an ass. Given how frequently _that_ happened, it was no surprise that she didn't even notice the feeling of being simply, completely, comfortable.

            It was, of course, a team game night - when they spent half the time just figuring out a game that everyone could, and would, play. Any card games, particularly betting games, were out: both Bruce and Tony counted cards (Bruce said it was an unconscious thing, whereas Tony didn't even bother trying to hide his shark grin), and Natasha, Clint, and Tiz could spot a 'tell' instantly. Board games inevitably devolved into a brawl across the table (one game of _Life_ was particularly memorable after Tony stole the tiny female figure from Clint's extremely-mini-van and declared it was having a torrid lesbian affair with his own tiny female figure) and most oral games were too full of either cultural misunderstandings (case in point, when Clint introduced the team to the role playing game of Mafia, and Thor refused to participate in the lynching of his teammates: he tried to appeal to the villagers' sense of humanity, and ultimately labeled the entire game as 'a practice in barbarism') or PTSD mine fields (they only tried the story-telling game 'Fortunately-Unfortunately' just the once...the collectively known ways in which a protagonist can be tortured either mentally, emotionally, or physically was entirely too extensive for that group to want to repeat the experience).

            This time, it was the card game of Golf, played with several partial decks to keep the card-counters from having the advantage. Since the game was based almost entirely on luck (though it was likely, based on Clint's shark-like grin and continuous discovery of the coveted 'three' cards, that the archer had somehow marked the cards), each round passed with a fairly even range of scores:

            Tony, as was to be expected of his huge brain, did well for himself and managed consistently low scores on every round; Bruce and Natasha, who sat next to each other around the table, managed quite respectable scores as well, with Bruce 'feeding' Natasha some good cards every once in a while; Thor was fairing badly in the game, which was unusual for a card game (Thor had the mind of a brilliant strategist behind that shaggy-Golden-Retriever-puppy facade) and was growing increasingly pouty with the end of each round; Darcy was losing spectacularly, and spent the majority of the game swearing heartily at her cards, known and unknown; Steve was also losing, but seemed to be enjoying himself  in the air of camaraderie nonetheless; Clint was perched on a bar stool, smug as a cat, not even bothering to watch the other players on their turns aside from a casual glance at the backs of the cards picked up (checking the as-yet-unrevealed card markings, presumably); Tiz was managing to remain somewhat in the middle of the scores, if only by the grace of Clint, who sniffed or smirked whenever she went to replace one of her unknown cards with a drawn card (she eventually figured out that a sniff meant to leave the unknown card alone and discard the drawn card; a smirk meant she had a queen or some other high-value card which should be replaced at all costs); Jane refused to play card games entirely unless it was poker (which she cheated at unashamedly, just as all the other geniuses did), and sat on a nearby sofa to gaze at her boyfriend with a vacant expression (only Darcy could tell whether she was fantasizing about Thor's hands or simply doing mental calculations on her current experiment, and Darcy wouldn't answer Tony's increasingly suggestive insinuations).

            "So, our resident _homo sapiens superior_ ," Tony drawled indolently from his slouched position in a chair, "Don't mutations manifest under some kind of extreme stress, or a horrible life-changing event like puberty? Which one was it for you?"

            Tiz settled back in her chair, sparing a brief moment of concentration to mentally repeat the values of her known cards. "Why?" she asked simply, restraining an amused smirk. It was obvious from the moment she met Tony that he both loved and hated nothing so much as being denied information; it was both a challenge and an affront to his scientific mind.

            "Well, I'd like to know how old you were when your mutation manifested, how long you've been practicing, so to speak. Putting my continued health, life, and limbs in the hands of someone who hopefully knows what she's doing. Consider it me finding out your qualifications: I need the information for the Avengers' records." Tony picked up a card from the draw pile, scowled at it, and threw it onto the discard pile in disgust; it was the seventh queen that had shown up in that particular round so far.

            "You mean you're feeling nosy, and weren't able to find out much about my personal life from the public and private records that you may or may not have looked at." Tiz drew a card, made a frustrated expression, and tossed the eight of hearts onto the discard pile. There was a long moment of silence, then,

            "Yeah, pretty much." Most of those around the table snorted at the unabashed admission, although Steve gave him a somewhat weak glare of reproval as he drew his card.

            "Mmm-hmmm." Tiz raised an eyebrow in Darcy's direction, wondering what her friend thought of the question, and of the questioner. Darcy shrugged in return as she made her own play, giving her a clear 'totally up to you' expression, then pausing to think before offering a wincing so-so shrug. Tiz rolled her eyes; that was truly helpful, _really_. "Well, I will tell you that my mutation manifested when I was ten, and I do believe that you _need_ no further information."

            There was another moment of quiet as cards were drawn, traded, and discarded by a couple more players. Then Tony spoke again, not-so-casually: "So, puberty? The magical, mystical, menstrual moment of blood and gore and uncomfortable conversations? Although, I personally think that would qualify as sufficient stress and trauma to trigger a mutation to manifest." The females around the table snorted in amusement, though not seeming to disagree.

            "Nope." Tiz popped the 'p' at the end of the word, blithely ignoring the scientist's increasingly frustrated stare. "That was six months earlier, and didn't traumatize me nearly as much as hearing about it seems to have done to you." Clint snickered as he flicked a card into the discard pile.

            "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to," Steve said loudly, the back of his neck flushed hot at the conversation material. Tiz regarded him fondly before shaking herself slightly; the 'national hero' was, in fact, the sweetest, most earnest, most stubborn, most polite, most handsomely baby-faced man she had ever met, and she very frequently and unashamedly wanted to coddle him like a baby brother.

            "It's fine, Steve," she said fondly, reaching around Clint to pat the man on the shoulder. "By the way, you're gonna want to switch out that last unknown card at any cost: Clint keeps scrunching his nose at it." The Captain glanced up at the archer from the corner of his eye, but Clint merely hummed noncommittally and scratched said nose. "And mutations can manifest at any point during puberty, Tony. It's pronounced and ongoing hormonal changes that prompt the manifestation, not just a single moment of your body doing something new and interesting."

            "Yeah, but I notice you're pretty carefully not saying that _your_ mutation was due to the hormonal changes of puberty," the engineer pointed out, slouching even further in his seat. "So what was it? Bullying on the playground? Kidnapping? Almost run over by a car?"

            Tiz looked up with a bland smile, and said simply, "I broke a nail." She regarded Tony with a polite expression. "Mom had just taken me for a manicure the day before. I was extremely upset that my nails weren't uniform any more, and, suddenly, I could see peoples' biorhythms." The entire table was silent as they digested that, various expressions of doubt and consternation on their faces.

            "You're shitting me," Clint suddenly blurted out, giving her a slightly disgusted look from his perch. Tiz grinned, and shrugged.

            "I might be," she admitted unashamedly. "Or, I could be giving just a _little_ bit of truth, just enough for it to be possible." Her grin widened. "You guys are just going to have to keep guessing." In a split second, the smile disappeared and she raised a pointed eyebrow at Tony. "Or, you could mind your own business."

            "Can't do it," he returned promptly. "I'm a genius: my brain is big enough for everything to be my business."

            "I'll be sure to remind Pepper you said that when it's time for your next board meeting," Darcy spoke up, grinning gleefully when Tony rolled his eyes dramatically.

            "Tony," Tiz said simply, catching his attention as she reached out across the table to casually stroke the top of his hand, "It's none of your business." He raised an unimpressed eyebrow, but was starting to look slightly disturbed at her taking such liberties with his hand. "And if you want to retain your ability to achieve an erection, you might want to leave me alone." He immediately jerked his hand away as if burned, eyes wide in horror. Tiz merely smiled sweetly and turned her attention back to the game at hand.

            It was a moment marked in history as _The Minute-and-a-Half When Tony Stark Was Dumb-Struck_.


End file.
